To Be Without Me
by Chibi Fenrir
Summary: As Shinji limped from the remains of Unit 01 only two things kept him alive...
1. Misplaced Rage

Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion, nor any of the characters or events.

AN: This piece of fanfiction is during the movie, End of Evangelion I highy suggest that you see the movie before reading any futher, but if you dont its your lost.

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A spear went through Eva Unit 01's eye socket.

Shinji screamed as the blood made a puddle in his lap.

He never knew that all the fighting, the pain, the angst and the sorrow was all for this, to watch almost all of the people he cared for and some he loved, get killed. The thing that caused the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, was that it wasnt an Angel killing and destorying, it was other people who were commiting such horrors.

"All their...deaths..were in vain..its my..fault..im useless.."

 The Eva series took spread their giant wings and took flight, leaving Unit 01 laying on the ground with a spear in its eye. They begin to look down at the Eva, the same way the hunter looks at its prey. Two of them stoped in mid air and threw their spears, which both landed in the Eva's hands.

Shinji felt the sudden pain in the center of his hands, he raised them to his eye only to see the dark blue spots that showed signs of inturnal bleeding.

He managed to move out the way just in time as three spears landed where Eva's chest would have been.

The more he tried to think, only one thing kept poping up in his mind's eye.

Blood.

The trail of blood coming from his eye.

The bloody remains of Unit 02 across the GeoFront.

The faint taste of Misato's blood still left in his mouth.

The blood left in Unit 01's hand after he murder Kaoru.

The blood in Unit 03's entry plug after a dummy controlled Unit 01 crushed it.

If it was one scream that could wake the dead then, Lincoln would be dusting his top hat off.

Three sets of wings of some sort appeared on the Eva's back, the armor started to fall off releasing the beast within.

A beserk Eva, many consider it to be unsafe, while others consider it a godsend, which is irony as they call their enemies Angels, but to understand a beresk Eva you have to understand Evangelion itself, the man-made weapon, the last defense agiasnt the Angels. Some seen it as a way to become a god, while most seen it as a way to save the world and the humans on it, but a certain midnight blue eyed ploit seen it as a way to get revenge.

The Eva lifted its legs in the air and propelled its self into the air, causing the spears to slide through it's hands,and started pulling the lance out of it's eye. Once it had the lance in hand it arched it back and roared, causing the earth to shake below it's feet.

The Eva series may have seemed stupid, but noone was dumb enough to attempt to fight a beserk Eva, much less a beserk Eva 01, they flew full speed towards the place they came from, whereever that may be, but as Eva 05, 07, and 09 found out, it is no use to try and escape a beserk Unit 01. It flew far above the series and simply fell on top of them one by one driving the lance through the dummy plugs inserted in them.

After a matter of time only three remained, and they were now certain they knew one human emtion.

Fear.

Suddenly Unit 06 and 10 hand purple arms through their chest, Unit 01 withdrew its arms from the now motionless Evas, Unit 08 slowly stepped backwards, keeping Unit 01 in its line of vision.

The Eva simply picked up a spear from the hand of Unit 06 and lauched it at Unit 08, that landed where it was suppose to, in the center of it's chest. 

With its task completed, the beserk Eva started to rise into the air, two soldiers wacthed as the wind started to pick up and created a bizzare tornado around Unit 01.

"We just got the order to retreat, lets get the hell out of here !!"

"J..Just look at that monster, its no escaping...that..that demon !!"

"Dont go crazy on me !! Ju~~

He stoped mid sentence to wacth a giant like human rise from the ground, the only thing that really stood out was the red orb in the center of what appeared to be a female. Just as she fully stood up, people around the world started to turn to LCL.

Rei turned her total attention to Unit 01, who now, like her, had an exposed core, they both floated towards one another.

Both looking for someone to be with.

Both looking to be accepted.

Both looking for love and affection.

"Shinji...be one with me...Shinji be one with me..."

As they were mere feet away from each other, Unit 01 did the something that Rei least expected.

If the Eva could laugh it would, as it drove the lance through Rei's core.

"Sh..Shinji..."

Unit 01 looked Rei in the eye as it forced itself on the on to the other side of the lance.

The biggest explosion known to man happened...

Things that wasnt already turned to LCL, turned to ashes..

Cities were leveled...

The polar caps once again, melted flooding the earth, only for most to be evaporated by the forty foot flames...

To put it simply, all hell has broke loose..

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Please review, tell me anything I did wrong flame if you must as long as you review, I know I cant really spell and my grammer is pretty bad but please just keep with me...o.o


	2. Forgotten Sorrow

Disclaimer: Look in the first chapter.

Rain fell down on the earth, causing the ground to turn muddy and the downpour wasn't helping a certain pilot at all.

Shinji limped from the remains of Unit 01, although the Eva was completely healed in the battle, Shinji wasn't healed at all, dried blood sealed his left eye shut, he was coughing up blood almost every six minutes, and the top and some spots of his white school shirt were now light pink thanks to the blood and rain.

He stumbled many a time, but always pushed himself back up, no matter how much the punctured lung protested, and no matter how much his broken ribs ached, he wouldn't stop.

He thought about many a thing but mainly he though about the three main people in his life, well the people who held the most importance to him anyway.

Misato, she tried so hard to become his second mother, but he only seen her as a friend. Yes, he could rely on her for support but he could never call her mother, as he thought about he never even told her how much he cared. He never told her how much he loved her.

"Damn it, only….one more….stupid…mistake…to add….to my list."

He kept walking at the same steady pace, his breathing was becoming more abnormal thanks to his lung but he went on.

Asuka, the flamboyant girl who took all the attention she could get her hands on, although it may have looked like he hated her, he actually admired her, she was everything he wanted to be, she was braver, stronger, and smarter. Shinji could only picture her winning but….they threw her in her Eva and she never even had a chance.

"Only if…I  weren't…so pathetic..I..could..have..saved her."

Shinji was so deep in thought he didn't see the branch sticking out of the ground, he tripped and landed hard on his side, he pulled himself back up on the same branched that tripped him and continued walking.

Rei, the quite, introverted girl, that was much like Shinji except she didn't care what others thought of her. In her Eva she wasn't really an offensive type of person, you could say that she was the exact opposite of Asuka. Although Shinji, did along the way find out the truth about Rei, the only thing that really bothered him was that his farth~no, that man used his mother's DNA in such a fashion. Just because she has some of his mother's DNA didn't make them the same person, but what bothered him the most was that he was in full control every time Eva went berserk.

Every time, no matter what condition he was in, if he needed it, it would happen.

Then it hit him like a brick.

It wasn't the fact that he was in control; it was that he did the things he really wanted to do.

He ripped Angels apart caused he wanted to.

He ate the Angel cause he wanted to.

He destroyed the Eva series cause he wanted to.

He stabbed Rei…cause he wanted to.

He hated Angels to the point where he would kill one of the few people he could really say he loved simply because she was an Angel.

Shinji stopped mid-step, and fell to his knees.

He cried, he didn't care anymore, he wiped at the tears falling from his right eye, and simply let the blood from his left eye, make it way down his face.

"They all left me alone, all of them…I deserve to be dead not them…not them"

He sobbed, and coughed up more blood, he fell flat on the side of his face in the mud. He used the last of his energy to turn his body around so he could face the sky, although the only thing he could see was mostly dust and a few gray clouds, the rain kept coming down drop by drop, Shinji slowly closed his eye..

Drop by drop.

Shinji blinked once and started to close his eye once more.

Drop by Drop

A figure slowly approached Shinji.

Man I know somebody is going to be mad. See I had to change a few events, in order to get things to the way they are now, and it wouldn't of made sense to just write the same thing everybody else does about the End of Evangelion, so I just added my on view on it.

And if anybody wanted to know Shinji is my favorite character…o.O


	3. Unanswered Questions

Disclaimer: Still in the first chapter.

Shinji awoke in a bed; upon closer examination he discovered he had bandages around his hands, eye, and chest. As he sat up in the bed all the memories came back, with lighting speed. He murdered Rei with his own hands. He laid back down putting his face in the pillow as he cried.

Fate always played jokes on him but this was the worse by far, he was waiting, no wanting to die, but once again nothing was ever in his favor. The he had an idea; nothing could stop him from killing himself.

He sat up, threw the covers of him and set off to find anything to end his pain. He was out of breath by the time he made it to the door of the room; Shinji took a while to readjust himself, and opened the door.

The whole house was dark except for the room he just left which was brighten by candlelight. He carefully made his way around, being careful not to trip. After a while he made it to what seemed to be the kitchen. To his delight he found the knifes, in the draw second from the left.

"I'm glad you are awake, it seemed like you would never wake up!!"

To say the least Shinji was scared shitless, he dropped the knife and turned around, he met eye to eye with someone that seemed awfully familiar.

"Shinji…if you were hungry you could have waited for me."

She put the bags on the floor and walked over to Shinji, who back stepped until his back hit the cabinets, she kept walking towards him, but stopped within a few feet of him.

"I'm sorry I forgot to introduce myself, I'm Mana, from you class. I wont feel offended if you forgot me…just tell me what's wrong."

"Y…You did this", Shinji said pointing at the bandages around his body, "W…Why..did you do..this?"

"You were hurt, and I just happened to know first aid, you act like you didn't want to live.."

She used her hand to push the dark red hair behind her shoulder so she could clearly see Shinji, her sky blue eyes seemed to question his very soul.

"I didn't want to live…"

She smiled and simply walked towards Shinji, and gave him a hug, being careful not to hurt him. Shinji noticed the strawberry scent radiating from her, but quickly dismissed, because he shouldn't be thinking that way.

"Everyone deserves to live, and you saved the world,…but I don't know about the people went."

"M…Mana, how do you k..know that, everyone turned to LCL."

She instantly let go of him and turned around.

"Um, the fight between Unit 01 could be seen on the television and I could see it from where I lived."

"Oh."

 She signed; if Shinji weren't so gullible she would be in some real trouble.

"You should be getting rest you are in no condition to be walking around."

"Mana, why do you care…so much?"

She turned back to face him, she looked him directly in the eye as she spoke, and to his amazement Shinji didn't even flitch.

"I care because you saved me, you saved the world!! You don't even act like you care."

Shinji cast his eyes downward looking at his socks, and the dirty floor.

"The only thing I did was make the third impact happen, I should be dead like Asuka, and Rei."

"I'm sorry..I didn't know."

"Nobody ever knows, I'm the person with the blood on my hands, I'm the one who enjoy killing,", Shinji raised his hands to his face," Do you hear me Mana, I enjoyed ripping apart everything I could, I even killed..her. Please Mana, I need some time alone…"

"Just remember, I'm always here, if you need somebody to talk to…"

She turned and walked out the door leaving Shinji to himself.

He walked outside, the sky was blood red, the ground was still muddy from the rain, as he looked to the horizon, he seen the see of LCL. As he walked he came upon the bodies of the Eva series, all crucified, on red crosses, 

"How could that have happened?"

He collected a pill of sticks and used his bandaged hands to dig graves, and make makeshift tombstones, it may have took over five hours, and he may have been very tired but he made graves for everybody he knew, he stood up to view his handy work, only to find something missing.

He reached in his pocket and pulled out Misato's necklace, he walked up to her grave and hanged the necklace on the cross.

"That's all I could do, for all of you…"

He kept wandering around, he crawled up a hill to be able to look over the land, but to his horror he only seen Rei looking skyward with an unblinking stare, the lance still imbedded in her chest.

"Shinji!! Dinner is ready!!"

"Okay, I'm coming.."

Before he left he took one last look at Rei.

"I'm worse than my father, but instead of using her, I killed her..."

 Shinji walked back to the Mana's house, upon reaching the door, he started thinking did he really want to go in, he could run off somewhere and just lie somewhere till he died, but on second though, he really didn't want to disappoint somebody else.

He opened the door and walked straight into Mana who was waiting on him, she lost her balance and they both fell on the floor, Mana with her back on the floor, and Shinji on top of her, they both looked into each other blue eyes, Shinji was about to push himself up when he noticed where his hand was. He imminently removed his hand and jump to his feet within seconds.

"Oh my gosh Mana!! I swear I'm sorry, I' really sorry!!"

Mana sat up blushing.

"Shinji, it was a mistake, its okay"

Shinji, who was blushing since he noticed where his hand was, help up the blushing Mana and they both walked to the table in the center of the room.

'What a coincidence..' 


	4. The Brave Coward

Disclaimer: Its going to stay in the first chapter you know…-_-'

Shinji sat on a stool looking out the window at the post third impact world, the only thing that kept the place from having complete silence was the flicker of the flame and every time wax dripped on the floor.

Mana offered to let him rest on the bed while she slept on the floor, but he said it was just wrong to take the bed, instead of going to sleep and deal with the nightmares, he stayed up and looked out the window. 

Normally thinking wasn't a hard thing to do, but every time he tried to, flashes of the torn apart Unit 02 came to mind.

"Asuka…"

Misato had the bright idea of placing Asuka in her Eva, in order to protect her, but when the Eva series arrived, no matter how hard Risuko tried, she didn't get any response from Asuka.

The Eva series took pleasure in tearing Unit 02 apart, when Shinji finally got out, he hoped that she wasn't synched with her Eva. If only he didn't try to drag Misato, or if he didn't try to act like he didn't care, he would have got there in time to help.

The moment he took a step, the Eva series turned their full attention to him.

Shinji almost broke down when he noticed that Unit 08 was still almost happily chewing on Unit 02's neck or what was left of it.

He preyed for the second time in his life, the first being when Rei used herself as a shield.

He preyed that entry plug somewhere else, anywhere but there.

His prays were answered as he seen the entry plug on the ground at a 40 degree angle in the ground, in front of Unit 11, he made a mad dash for the plug, every once in a while avoiding a spear aimed for him.

With the plug in hand, he drew his arm back and prepared to throw the plug into the lake, he quickly brought his arm forward, launching the plug into the air, with that done he got ready for the fight with the Eva series, he was about to draw his prog knife, until he heard the sick crush behind him, Unit 01 slowly turned and met face to face to Unit 07 that had blood all over its mouth, it wasn't until Shinji zoomed in and seen the words Unit 02 on a small piece of metal that he knew what the carnage in its mouth was.

He drew the knife and started to hack at it over and over, forgetting about the others, he concentrated on destroying Unit 07, the other Units would make him pay for this reckless mistake.

And indeed he did pay for his mistake as the lance went through his eye.

Shinji jumped as the wax dripped on the floor ending the flow of memories.

"She didn't deserve it, I should have been in her place…"

Shinji wiped his eye to stop the on coming tears.

He laid his back on the dusty floor and used his school shirt as a makeshift pillow, and he looked up the ceiling.

"Yet another unfamiliar ceiling…"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Shinji…be one with me.."

Shinji looked around in the darkness; needless to say he saw nothing, not even his own hands.

"Shinji…be one with me.."

He stepped out of the circle of light, the moment he did the whole place lit up, now he could see everything clearly.

Rei was on the ground with a lance going through her chest, the puddle of blood extended to Shinji's feet. As she tried to reach out to him, he kept stepping backwards until he fell in what seemed to be a pit, it seemed like he feel forever.

After a while he hit the ground, he shook he head to get out of his daze and looked around he noticed that he was surrounded by hundreds upon hundreds of giggling Reis, as the started to come closer Shinji raked his mind to find some sort of escape, they started touching him, kissing him, when Shinji noticed there wasn't any escape he gave up, they suddenly stop and made a path for somebody, Shinji stood there waiting, to his surprise he didn't try to run when he seen the Rei he knew walking towards him, she was dragging what seemed to be a bag or something, he couldn't make it out because she was so far back.

Once again, in a moment that seemed to take forever Rei stood just about a few inches from Shinji, she threw what she was dragging in front of him, and Shinji screamed like he was being stabbed.

There in front of him on the ground were Asuka's bloody remains.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  

"Shh..I'm here…its okay Shinji.."

Mana held Shinji whiled he cried in her lap.

"It was so horrible", Shinji sobbed, " So horrible.."

"I'm here for you Shinji…"

And so it stayed like that for hours, Shinji told Mana most of what happen, while she kept quiet and listened. He told her about Misato, he told her about Rei, he told her about Asuka, he told her about his Eva, to sum it all up, he mostly told her everything. He soon fell asleep in her arms, She laid back down on the floor, Shinji was still on top of her in a rather promising position, she decided it was better to let him stay like he was than move and wake him up.

"Sweet Dreams Ikari."

*~*~*

As they both sat at the table eating breakfast, Shinji wanted to ask Mana a few questions, but he really didn't want to pry into her past since she was so kind to him.

Before grabbing the carton of orange juice, Mana looked up and seen the look on Shinji's face.

"Something wrong?"

"Um..Mana would you mind if I asked you some questions?"

She smiled before responding.

"Of course, you didn't have to ask."

 "How did you survive, and how did you happen to find me?"

"Haha….you see I don't know how I survived and I was wondering around when I found you."

 "Oh."

"I was quite lucky to find a handsome male such as yourself, you know."

Shinji chocked on the toast and blushed a very bright shade of red.

"That reminds me, it's about time for me to change your bandages."

"I guess I don't have much of a choice, do I?"

"Not really, stay right here ill be back."

Shinji kept eating until she came back with the first aid pack.

"Okay, take off your shirt."

Shinji blushed, and unbuttoned his shirt before taking it off.

As his shirt fell to the floor, Mana gasped, she was sure Shinji didn't have this many cuts and scars when she bandaged him up the first time. It looked like somebody took a razor and cut him till they got tired, rested, and did it again.

Shinji sighed, "It's the scars isn't it?"

"What happened to you…?"

"N..Nothing."

"Please Shinji, you'll feel better."

"Most of them are from the Angels, no one was concerned about the pilot, only the Eva."

"Most?"

"One day after school, I stopped at Rei's apartment to drop off her homework, when I got…home Asuka was waiting for me, some how we got into argument about Rei."

"And."

"That night she came into my room, she told me why she was better than Rei and how I could get more from her,..she took off her clothes, and jumped on me."

Mana looked Shinji in the eye, when she didn't find any hint of lust or amusement she signaled for him to continue.

"I didn't want to take advantage of her, so I refused to have sex with her…I didn't mean to hurt her feelings, when she left out the room, I was about to go to sleep when Asuka came back in, she walked to the side of the bed, I started to apologize but she said it was okay, I turned over and tried to get to sleep again, but she got in the bed behind me, I closed my eyes, then I heard a click, then after all I remember was blood, and Asuka saying sorry."

"Shinji..its over 200 cuts on you."

 "She did it every time she got mad, but she always said sorry afterwards."

"You let her use you like that!! Why didn't you tell anyone!!"

"She needed me for support, so I gave it to her..It didn't matter how much it hurt."

"Shinji you are to nice for your own good."

That ended the conversation as Mana started to remove the bandages.

After they were all changed, she directed him to the bathroom to take a shower while she went and looked for something for him to wear. She found a dark blue tee shirt and 

"The clothes are outside the door Shinji. I'm going to look for some supplies ill be back in a while."

Shinji almost cried out as the cold water splashed on his skin, as he stood there the conversation about the scars came back to mind.

"In the end it really didn't matter…"    


	5. Unclosed Blinds

Disclaimer: I still don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion and I never will…-_-'

Days passed and time was lost, Shinji enjoyed being with Mana and Mana liked being with Shinji, every now and then they would bump against each other or touch the other by mistake, both would blush and just laugh it off. That was until all of sudden Mana became sick and Shinji took care of her as she stayed in bed.

Like always, Shinji knocked twice on the door and walked in. He walked over to the sleeping Mana, and shook her a few times causing her to stir.

"Just let me get a few more minutes Shinji…", whispered the tired Mana as she turned around so her back was facing Shinji.

"Mana, you have to eat something first."

"I'll do it later."

Shinji left out the room, Mana smiled and went back to sleep, but her few minutes of bliss was cut short by the very loud alarm clock next to her ear. She was up and out of bed in a matter of seconds, and Shinji thought he was going to pass out from a nosebleed.

"Ma..Mana I didn't know you slept in the…nude."

Mana's face turned redder than Shinji's who now had his back to her, She picked up the robe at the foot of the bed and told Shinji he could turn around now.

"I'm sorry Mana, I'll make it up to you I promise, please believe me, I'm so sor~

"Its okay Shinji", Mana stated interrupting him

"W..well it seems you feel b..better Mana", said the nervous Shinji, as he started to make his exit., "I'll make a special dinner in that case."

"That would be wonderful!!"

"Ok, Ill start now, I'll leave one of those pills next to your water so you wont have to go through all that stuff to find it."

"That's quite thoughtful of you Ikari."

Shinji almost tripped, "Why…why did you call me Ikari ?!?" 

"Um..I was just being polite."

"Please just call me, Shinji…Ikari reminds me, of father…"

~*~*~*~

"Shinji, that was very good you should have told me you were a cook."

"I'm not really that good, I just picked up a few things while I was living with my uncle," Shinji said while scratching his hair.

"I'm going to get something to drink, just wait here."

Shinji watched as she got up and went into the kitchen, at night they had to carry around candles because no matter how much they tried they could not fix the lights.

'I wonder how longer its going to stay like this, of course, I like being here, but I have to go see if other people are coming from the LCL, or something. Its not fair for me to be here spending time with her, I don't even deserve to be alive, much less spending time with the girl I lo~~'

The sound of a can, hitting the hard wood knocked Shinji out of his line thought, Mana popped the tab, on her can of Boa Beer and offered Shinji one.

'A girl I like to be around', Shinji corrected the last thought, "I don't like beer Mana…"

"Come one be a man, just drink a few…"

Mana raised the can in the air and downed it in one gulp, Shinji watched in awe as she did the same thing with a second and third can.

"Ahh, Shinji you aren't being any fun, just have three and we will call it even."

Shinji slowly drunk the cans one by one, the more he drunk the more he wanted, after his seventh can he was slurring his words together.

"Mana, could ya answer the door," said the drunk Shinji as he opened another can of his now favorite beer.

Mana, grasped Shinji's collar and dragged him to the bedroom, with candle in one hand and Shinji in the other she kicked open the door and put the candle on the night table, and tried to throw Shinji on the bed but the momentum caused her to land on top of him.

"Mana…"

She closed the gap between them, both of them closed their eyes as their lips came into contact, Shinji put his arms around her waist as Mana took handfuls of his hair, when she felt his tongue dance across her lips she opened her mouth, and let his tongue in her mouth, she moaned when she felt his hand under her shirt massaging her breast.

She broke the kiss and started to take off her shirt, as Shinji unbuttoned his, he stopped when he seen the massive scar on her chest between her breast.

"You don't want me anymore do you…you are just like the rest of….them," Mana said with hurt evident on her face.

Shinji simply blew out the flame and climbed on top of her.

~*~*~*~*~

It was the same nightmare, over and over. He would see Rei with the lance in her chest, he would fall in a pit, thousands of Rei's would kiss and grope him till they all stop grinning and made a path for Rei's who carried the remains of Asuka. Rei would try to say something but Shinji would scream then wake up.

Rei threw Asuka remains in front of him and right before he screamed he heard her say in her normal monotone voice, "Reality can be dream…."


	6. Lost Passion

Disclaimer: It is forever in chapter one…-_-'

Shinji woke in the middle of the night to find himself alone in the bed, it was odd that Mana, had the same scar Misato did and in the exact same place, now that he thought about it, she drunk the same kind of beer too.

'No, I'm just jumping to conclusions.'

Shinji got out of the bed and put on his school shirt and pants and walked into the kitchen.

'It's a candle here, so she must have need something, I might as well get a snack or something.'

Shinji looked in the box Mana always put supplies in only to find it empty, and then all of a sudden his hunger faded.

"I guess I wasn't as hungry as I thought I was. I'm already up so should find something to do."

Shinji for the first time walked around the house, looking at stuff he never seen before and opening doors he never opened, he found some interesting stuff, he also found Mana's diary, but out of respect left it where it was, he found pictures of Mana, but everyone else in the pictures must have been to tall, because their necks were cut off. He looked in box after box only to find Mana, yes it was others in the pictures but something was always over their faces or something. Shinji gave up and continued his journey. After awhile he found nothing exciting, only a few old books and a locked basement door, on his way back to the bedroom he spotted a yearbook and added to his small but growing collection of books.

He sat the candle he got from the kitchen on the floor, and pull the yearbook out of the stack of books, after flipping a few pages he seen not one picture nor any names, just blank spaces.

'She must have used white out on them or something."

He kept flipping the pages till he found one picture; he held the candle to the book so he could read the name.

"Ikari Shinji."

Above the writing was his picture staring back at him, the brown haired, blue-eyed pilot of Unit 01.

He flipped more pages and after a while found only one name and a picture to go with it. He held the candle closer to the book once more, to read the name.

"Mana."

No last name, no middle name, just Mana, he looked above the writing and the familiar face of Mana looked back at him. Just then something came to mind.

'Didn't Mana, have brown hair in school, ahhh'

Shinji almost dropped the candle, it felt like his head was about to explode, he fell on his back and blacked out.

~*~*~*~*~

"Shinji, are you okay?"

He shot up, looking around to see where he was. Mana was in front of him and he was still in the bedroom, but the stack of books and yearbook was gone.

"Yea, I'm fine", said the dazed Shinji as he started to look around for the books.

"What are you looking for."

"I left some books on the floor, and I can't find them." Shinji responded while looking under the bed.

"….It wasn't any books in here when I got back, Shinji you should get some rest."

"Forget it, ill look for them later, Mana do you remember where you sat in the classroom?"

"I sat on the left right beside you."

"Mana, that was Asuka seat…"

Shinji fell to his knees holding his head, as the pain came back, Mana appeared behind him whispering in his ear.

"Don't try to remember, stay here with me."

Shinji fell face first, and passed out.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Shinji sat up in the bed, and it was night again.

'She is hiding something…'

He threw the covers to the floor and walked to the room that Mana kept her diary, Shinji broke the lock, and started flipping pages just like he did with the yearbook. Each page was pink with black lines, that had nothing wrote on them. Shinji ran back to the bedroom, and started opening draws, most of them were empty, he walked to the night table and pulled out all three of the draws, the pain started to come back but he tried his best to ignore it until he got his answer.

In the first draw, were Misato's jacket folded up, and her necklace on top of it, the second had nothing but a yellow sundress and some white socks, and in the third and final draw was a nothing but the female uniform, for his school and some black socks.

Shinji slowly backed up, to say he was scared was a damn lie, to say he was terrified was more like it, he bumped into something and lost his balance causing him to fall hard on the dusty wooden floor.

"Shinji what are you doing…?"

The pain was causing dark spots in his vision; he had to use all his strength to keep from passing out.

Shinji slowly raised his arm to point at the night table, when he turned back to Mana she had a smirk on her face that could rival Asuka's, Mana kicked Shinji in the side causing his ribs to re-break.

"W..What the hell!?!", spat out a gasping Shinji, he used the bed post for support and pulled himself up.

"Shinji, don't think about them. Just stay here with me, ill take care of you, it will be just the two of us!!"

Shinji coughed up blood and fell on the bed, he tried to push himself back up but passed out and rolled on the floor.

"Just the two of us…" 

Somebody said something about it better be a good reason for Mana surviving and believe me, it's a **damn **good reason, you'll see.

I used Mana because some people are familiar with her, its better than making up some girl, which would have created many a problem among readers. A bootleg SI can make the best story go to hell.


	7. Weeping Desire

Disclaimer: I will never own Evangelion, nor the characters…-_-'…-_-' indeed

Shinji is the type of person that hates to be used and hates to use people, but in this kind of situation anything was worth trying. 

Mana, a mix of Misato, Asuka, and Rei, she always cared, but Shinji knew that this wasn't real, no matter how hard she tried she would never make him stay here, he had to escape,….but he loved Mana, she didn't approach him like a step mother the same way Misato did, she didn't force him away like Asuka, and she didn't damn near ignore him like Rei.

"Shinji, You know I wont let you go. You belong here with me!!"

"…"

"Say something!!"

"…This isn't real…"

Mana drew her hand back slapping Shinji across the face, her nails dug into his cheek leaving a thin cut, small amount of blood started to drop to the floor.

"Its real enough!!"

Shinji didn't want to know where she got the handcuffs or the rope, and he didn't have time to even ponder that as another one of Mana's violent slap hit home on his face.

"I'll..I'll let you touch me anywhere you want to, " Mana whispered in his ear as she pointed to the 'desired' spots," I'll be yours every night…"

"…"

"You only have to say you want to stay, it will be perfect…just the two of us."

"…I don't want to stay…"

Shinji almost cried out in agony, as she used all her might to punch him in the chest, yes he was very sure that his ribs were in pieces.

"Why? I swear I'll do anything you want."

"…."

"Why?!!", screamed Mana as she slap Shinji again drawing blood once more.

"…You are using me the same way Asuka was…"

Shocked, Mana slowly backed out of the room, when she reached the doorway she turned and ran.

Mana handcuffed him in such a way, that he had to always stand up, if he just dropped down he would break his wrist and if he sat down to long his arms would become sore, he was glad he had socks on or the rope around his ankles would be causing a very painful rash.

'The only way I can escape is to break these pipes…or I could dislocate my thumb.'

Shinji tried doing the former, only to make his hand and wrist hurt.

Shinji bit his lower lip as he placed his thumb on the pipe, all he had to do was just drop down suddenly then his thumb would jerk to the left either making it look like he four fingers, or it would completely break his thumb off.

'Ok Shinji, this isn't going to be the worst pain you ever felt..'

He was preparing to fall as the door burst open; Mana was now, to Shinji's horror, dressed in Asuka's plug suit.

"Shinji…you can touch me now, but you have to promise not to try anything…unless I ask you to."

"…"

"You don't have to be shy, ill let you press the button."

"…"

"Or do you prefer this.."

Shinji looked up to find Mana, with a yellow sundress on.

He had no way to tell how much time passed, but he would testify on the stand he seen Mana in every outfit that he seen Misato, Rei, and Asuka in, she even had the damn bathing suit Asuka wore.

"I guess that didn't please you, but this will…"

Shinji sighed and looked up to find Mana in her birthday suit and to his credit he didn't even blush, but when Mana started to get closer and closer he was getting a little warm.

"Shinji, I know how lonely you are…they are all gone, even if they wasn't they still wouldn't return you affection. I'm here in front of you…"

She had no idea how much that thought penetrated him, Shinji was lonely most of his life, he didn't even know what friends were till he got to Tokyo-3.

Loneliness… 

Of course, Shinji made friends but he always felt lonely.

Laying on the bed listing to his SDAT, nobody ever asked what he wanted to do.

Sitting under the tree while the other boys talked about the girls they liked.

Always the lone person on the court waiting for someone to pass him the ball.

They all but damned near stepped over Shinji to repair the Eva, but he was left with the scars.

In class, everyone else had conversations going on, but Shinji could never speak what was on his mind to anyone.

While he was with his Uncle, he would always be in his room reading a book wondering what the outside world was like, but he could never tell anyone his goals.

When his mother died, he was left in the street; the rain soaked both him and the small teddy bear he held as he cried for father to come back…

He gasped as he felt Mana's breath on his face, he blinked and his hands were free, he pulled Mana close as he started to kiss her on the neck, he groped Mana causing her moan as he found his way up to her lips. He rubbed his thumb against her nipple causing it to harden. Her hand found its way to his pants and reached inside to stoke his swollen manhood.

"Asuka…", as soon as he said it his eye opened, he turned and sped out the door, with Mana right behind him.

"Shinji, its okay!! Just come back!!"

After a while of running around the house, he ran into the basement door which this time around wasn't locked, he turned the knob and slipped in the room just as Mana got around the corner, he closed and locked the door behind him.

"Shinji!! Don't go down there, I forgive you!! Please Shinji!!"

He ignored her as he raced down the steps. He looked around only to come to a very simple conclusion….

'Its empty.'

And indeed it was, it was nothing there at all, the whole room was empty, not one thing just a while open space, as he prepared to go up the steps and try to leave the house, until something  shiny on the floor caught his eye. 

He walked around looking on the floor; right in the center of the room was a shiny metal panel, with a handle on top of it. He pulled it up only to find a long ladder leading down. 

~*~*~*~*~*~

He was just a few feet from the bottom when he started to get the unexpected headache again.

His vision started to get blurry and he let go of the bars, he landed hard on the metal floor, he coughed up blood as he opened his eye trying to get his bearing, as he stood up the lights started to come one, he coughed up more blood as he looked up.

Blood began to leak out his ear as the headache took on a whole new level of pain.

There in front of him, in full glory was an Eva.

He narrowed his eye to read the writing on the forearm.

"Eva Unit 002."

It was a faint purple like someone combined a light red and blue.

Shinji started to feel dizzy and fainted.

The Eva looked down at fallen Shinji with four small eyes that surrounded one big eye that was in the center.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Shinji instantly got out of the bed and tried to get out of the house only to find the front door locked, he walked into the kitchen and found the knifes. Rushing back to the door he started to hack at the area around the doorknob with the biggest knife he could find. Soon he gave the door a shove and it fell.

He was a good mile away from the house, and he could still see it, but because Mana bought him here he didn't know where Unit 01 was.

"Shinji!!"

Normally Shinji was a pretty fast guy, but the broken ribs and the punctured lung could slow anybody down, Mana was gaining on him and there was nothing he could do.

"Shinji, you are going nowhere, there is nothing out there."

Shinji kept running not giving up, but when Mana tackled him he knew it was over.

"Shinji, you either stay with me or die!!"

 "…", He tried to get up but only hurt himself more in the process

"Shinji, how many times do you want me to tell you," Mana whispered as she touched his face, "I'm here for you, I'll forgive you for every mistake,  I'll do whatever you what me too…I'll kiss you where you want me too. Just let me assist you Shinji."

"But Mana…it isn't valid…we care for each other but…but this is just a fantasy…I don't deserve to be love, I probably destroyed the world, just because I was so stupid."

Mana slowly got off him, her hair covering her eyes, it was obvious she was crying because of the wet drops falling on his shirt.

"…Okay go back to your damn Asuka, or whoever you desire, but I just want you to know that to be without me, is like lying to yourself. But know that I will kill you than let you leave me."

Shinji slowly got up and started walking away. He felt pretty bad but it didn't feel worse than the sudden pain in his head.

"Dear Shinji if you are going to go, it won't be that painless."

Shinji fell to his knees holding his head.

"This is your last chance!! Stay and you will have everything, but if you decline…I'm going to harm you to say the least."

He shook his head, and fell on the ground out cold.

"Let the games begin."

______________________

Well it's the beginning of the end in this story, If you read this far then I really thank you this is my first time writing a story, thanks for the reviews and the last chapter or chapters would be on in a while.

Chibi Fenrir


	8. Not lost, but unfound

Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion, nor the characters…-_-'

"Damn it!!"

Shinji got out of the bed just a while ago, but the door was locked, he would have to break it down. It was about to get a running start until he tried again and it was unlocked.

'She could be waiting for me, or I might just have twisted the knob the wrong way.'

He leisurely twisted the doorknob waiting for a sound from the other side. Pushing the door as slowly as he could without making a sound, he stuck his head out to make sure the path was clear.

Shinji let out the breath he didn't know he was holding, and made his way to the kitchen, if she was going to kill him, then he had to at least try to fight back.

Finding the knife that he used on the door, he tiptoed to the front door, being careful not to make a sound. As soon as he got to the door, he felt that he forgot something. 

"Are you waiting for someone Shinji?"

The knife made a strange sound as it feel to the floor, the horrified Shinji slowly turned around to meet with a smiling Mana dressed in Misato's uniform.

"Were you going to hurt little old me.", Her face being hidden in the shadows, Shinji had not the idea if she was being playful or if she was really hurt.

"….", Shinji backed up till his back was on the door, slowly moving his hand towards the knob, he started to turn it while keeping his eyes on Mana.

"Well…if you want to fight…lets fight."

Mana stood straight up, left foot in front of the left, right fist at mid level in front of the left. Shinji kept turning the knob, well until he heard the click. The door was locked.

'How stupid was I!! I knew she wouldn't just let me walk out!!'

"I'll even let you get the first hit," Mana dropped her stance and stood normally holding her elbow while her hand held her chin.

"….I can't hit you..". Shinji looked down, his hair covering his eyes.

Mana's heel connected to his temple sending him right into the wall, Shinji pushed himself up, but feel back to the ground after a elbow landed in his spine.

"I'm sorry I don't feel that way.", She went from playful to serious as she gave Shinji an ass whooping that most Angels would be glad of.

Each kick going as fast as lighting causing him to cough up blood as she kicked him in the chest and stomach. Each punch, hitting him either in the face or torso.

"You give up?", Mana nearly screamed as she picked Shinji bloody face off the ground.

"…No…'

Mana lifted Shinji up in the air by his hair, and drove his face into the floor breaking the wood.

"You'll give up next time…"

~*~*~*~*~*~

Shinji rolled out the bed landing on the floor; although his body hurt all over he was just glad his face wasn't broken. He crawled across the room coming to the door, reaching up and opening it. Still not feeling like standing up, Shinji crawled to the front door and opened it, causing Mana to trip over him, dropping supplies all over the floor.

"I'm glad you are awake. You been out cold since I found you outside…"

The headache came back as he tried to crawl out the open front door, only to find Mana closing it just as the warm air from the outdoors hit his face.

"I know it seems bad but its worse out there. I'm Mana, from your class.", Mana picked up the passed out Shinji and carried him to the bed room.

"You are quite persistent, but next time it's your last chance."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Shinji looked up at the now familiar roof, of Mana's home.

'If I keep the up I'll kill myself, Mana really isn't that bad and..NO!! I'm going to return to where I belong'

Shinji managed to sit up but not without causing pain to shoot up his back.

'If I am going to get out of her I need a plan. I can't hit her…nor can I out run her. I cant do nothing…nothing at all…'

Shinji laid back down and rubbed at his eye to stop the incoming tears, he failed as the tears slide down his face falling on the bed. Indeed, it wasn't bad or anything to stay with Mana, but…It isn't real, no matter what they do it would never ever be real, he now knew he couldn't escape unless he got better, or if Mana let him, neither the former or the latter would happen. He was in this condition because Mana wanted him like this, and if she went through all of this she wasn't going to just let him leave all of a sudden.

"Not going to try and escape this time, I knew you would come around Shinji, I'm better than them. I'll give you the kind of affection Misato never did.", Mana walked to the bed standing over Shinji casting a shadow over him.

"I'll give you the attention Rei never did…"

Mana wiped away Shinji's tears with her hand, "I'll give you the love Asuka never did."

Shinji closed his eye as Mana got in the bed next to him.

"You might not want it now, but you'll want it later…"

This wasn't the first time Shinji cried himself to sleep, but this was the first time it was because of physical and emotional pain.

"I'll make it all better…"

~*~*~*~*~*~

'If I'm going to do it….this is my only opening." 

Shinji stood up in the bed and gracefully hoped over the sleeping Mana, and landed perfectly on the floor. He limped to the door, opened it and continued to the front door.

His happiness was short lived as he heard the footsteps behind him.

"Goddamit Shinji!! How many times am I going to have to say this shit!! I love you and you need me, if you walk out that damn door I will drag your ass back in and kill you!!"

Shinji was gone by the time she got to need, he was giving it his best and a pissed off Mana was not far behind. With one more glance over his shoulder, Shinji took off running as fast as he could, until the damned headache came back.

Mana walked up to Shinji, who was on his knees holding his ears, to stop blood from coming out.

She didn't say anything as she dragged Shinji back to the house like she said she would. As they got to the door she simply kicked it down and continued to drag Shinji into the kitchen.

"Get the fuck up and be ready to die like a man!!", Mana turned her back and went looking through the draws for something.

Shinji to say the least felt very awkward, he wasn't scared at all, he felt very calm. This was it, all the pain was going to end, no more tomorrow's, no more self-loathing. 

"And after this I'm going to kill that bicth some way or some how, I swear I will make the bicth suffer.", Mana pulled the out the longest knife Shinji ever seen, now that he noticed it, that was the bread knife Mana used to cut the ham the first time he ate here.

"Kill…kill that bicth…she has to mean Asuka!!"

Mana slowly turned around, with a twisted smile she walked towards Shinji," If you stay I swear nothing like this would ever happen again, and I'll let the girl be."

"…."

Mana drove the knife though Shinji's stomach, she touched the blood stained knife and licked the blood off her finger.

"I like the way you taste Shinji, please allow me to have more.", Mana whispered as she forced her mouth on his.

'I'm…dieing…but…Asuka…no…I can't…"

Mana tongue danced in Shinji's mouth as she took the knife and stabbed Shinji in the chest. Shinji started to see dark spots and he started to feel very limp and weak.

Reality can be a dream 

'If this is a dream…then I have to try…for Asuka.'

Shinji mustered all the strength he could and call out to the only person who call help him. He pushed Mana away as he feel to the floor.

"Mo…Mother!!"

Laughing, Mana got up, "Nobody can help you Dear Shin~~

She was cut off a colossal purple hand grabbed Shinji.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Half awake, Shinji did his best to keep himself from going berserk, the world was falling apart, the sky was falling and the ground was shaking, it soon broke open to reveal endless holes and seventy foot flames.

"I'll make this your personal hell!!"

Unit 002 came from behind the flames, Unit 01 was knocked to the ground, Shinji began to feel a burning sensation on his back and instantly bought Unit 01 back to its feet.

The mixture of blood and LCL clouded it vision, Unit 002 was nowhere to be seen and Shinji was beginning to feel woozy. He griped the controls tighter, coughing up more blood, Shinji failed to see Unit 002, come from behind the smoke with prog knife in hand.

"Die!!"

She slashed diagonally across the torso of Unit 01, Shinji had just enough time to take one step back, but the pain was getting to him.

Mana's Eva drew its hand back and punched Unit 01 in the face. When the Eva hit the ground, Shinji tried to make it get back up but was stopped as Unit 002 stomped on its midsection, which either knocked Shinji out or worse…

Unit 002 held the prog knife with out hand and Unit 01's neck with the other, as Mana forced Unit 002 to drive the knife into Unit 01's face a blinding white flash temporarily blinded her.

Unit 01 drew its own prog knife and roared, it grabbed Unit 002's arm, put its foot on Mana's Eva chest, and started to pull. Soon enough blood sprayed out of the stump where Unit 002's arm used to be. 

Unit 01 started to rise in the air as the ground broke completely open and a black mass started to ooze out of it, Unit 002 started to sink into the black substance. Unit 01 looked down at Unit 002, both stared at each other until Unit 01 reached out and started trying to pull Unit 002 out of the black stuff.

"Hahaha…Shinji die with me…"

Unit 002 pulled Unit 01 one in…both started to sink, all the while Mana's laughing could be heard, until Unit 002's head sunk below the surface, Unit 01 simply looked into the pieces of sky falling like glass into the sea of black stuff. 

Unit 01 arched its head and roared before sinking entirely into the Sea of Direa.

~*~*~*~*~*~

His neck felt warm but he didn't want to open his eye. He was tired he just wanted to die.

The warm feeling stayed around his neck, annoyed Shinji used a lot of energy to open his eye.

Blue eye to Blue eyes, Shinji now noticed the warm feeling around his neck was stopping him from breathing and talking. He reached up and caressed Asuka's cheek. She gasped and withdrew her hands from around Shinji's neck. Asuka backed away from him and silently cried.

Shinji was about to get up and confront her till the pain came back, before he coughed up blood he glanced at the blood red sky, he suddenly turned his head and coughed up more blood.

"I feel sick."

Fin~ 

****

____________

I did it!! I made a good fan fiction story…_' although some might disagree….-_-'. About that Tenchi Muyo movie, I really didn't know the show had a movie, but if its that similar to the story then ill be glad to see it, even though I have no idea where to find it..o.O

Many thanks for reading even if you didn't review, and many many thanks for those who read **and** reviewed…^_-.

Chibi Fenrir


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